found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
