you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
