I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
