the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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