My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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