you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
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he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
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It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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