that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
