If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
