never play flip cup with pint glasses
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
