Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
