Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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