your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
