you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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