you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
