i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
