***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
third nipple confirmed
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
