I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
