I have demons in me.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
