it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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