I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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