we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
