Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
