i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
