Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
