Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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