3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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