Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
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There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
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My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize