yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
i need some magic done to my vagina
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
