I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize