have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
