Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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