I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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