Me. At least after what I've been through.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
