Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize