This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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