The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
i believe in u and ur pee
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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