I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize