im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
