You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
