I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
