He is an equal opportunity slut.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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