you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
