from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Green mimosas i think yes
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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