we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
