I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
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I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
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Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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