So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
