Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
