Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Welp...herpes.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
