Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
