we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
