i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
