lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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