So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
