Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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