Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
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I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
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I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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