the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize