in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
