how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
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found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
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He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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