everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
