Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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